part 2: taking the "bitter" out of "bittersweet"

tonight i took the girls to walmart because i had to make a spare van key. we were perusing the toy aisles when layla told me she had to go potty. fine. we make our way to the restrooms at the front of the store. the women's restroom is, of course, closed.

nuts.

layla's doing a little wiggle dance, so i know i don't have much time. after about 3 seconds of deliberation (do we go to the back of the store to the family restroom? do we wait out the cleaning ladies?), i tell her to just go ahead in the men's. (what are they going to do, arrest me?) she BOLTS in there, and addie and i wait right outside the door.

about 10 seconds later, a little girl about layla's age comes out of the men's room as well. i smile at her and she smiles back; we're sister-partners in a mini bathroom-sign-adherence rebellion. about 5 seconds later, i hear coming out of the men's room, loud and clear as only a restroom can resonate, a disappointed layla: "mom! mo-ooom!"

me: (trying to be quiet, but i still have to be outside the restroom, so my voice must be loud enough to carry) what is it, lays?

layla: (still loud) i didn't make it. it got in my undies.

me: (uh. oh.) (trying to be reassuring) that's okay, honey. just dry yourself off as best you can, and we'll go home and change.

layla: (pause, then good & loud so i can't misunderstand) no, mom. i can't. it's all over.

at this point, my heart has sunk to the floor. a woman waiting at a nearby magazine rack, having heard all (i'm sure the entire store heard all, with the echo), gives me a "ooh, that's too bad, glad it's you not me" kind of smile. i bite my lip and try to figure out what to do.

i had to get in there. no man had gone in or come out in a bit, but i wasn't taking my chances. i scour the vicinity for a male walmart employee, but of course there are none in sight. about 15 feet away, there are two college-aged guys manning some sort of booth. i know this is more than what they signed up for, but i had no other choice.

i go over to them and politely explain the situation and ask if one of them would just go in and see if the coast was clear, so i could go in and help my daughter. he was really nice. i was really embarrassed. he came out and said, "i don't THINK there's anyone else in there." i cross my fingers that he's right.

i hurry in and find, shall we say, a very messy and embarrassed layla, and a very messy toilet and floor.

hoo boy. hope the cleaning ladies are coming here next, for sanitation's sake.

we throw away her underwear, clean her up, and get her re-dressed. addie, who is parked outside the restroom in the cart, has started to call for me, "mo-mmmmyyy!" i tell her i'm coming, but she keeps calling for me. not panicked, just nice and conversationally.

believe me, i'm moving as fast as i can.

i start to clean up the toilet a bit, when i hear what i think is a guy starting to come into the restroom. noooooo! this is so embarrassing, i want to die!! then i hear my new man-friend (the guy who scoped out the restroom for me in the first place) say, "there's a young mother in there helping her daughter, you might wanna wait a minute."

thankyouthankyouthankyou for helping me avoid THAT awkward siatuation.

layla kept saying, "i'm sorry, mom," and being so sad about not making it in time. i keep quietly reassuring her that it's fine, that she did her best, etc. etc. while still dying inside. DYING. how do i get myself into situations like this?

we get everything cleaned up as best as we can, wash hands, and head out. man-friend is standing, bouncer-style (arms across chest, legs apart, facing outward) in the center of the doorway to the restroom. another dude or two are waiting for layla and me to come out so they can go in. i mumble a thank you to man-friend and a sorry in the other guys' general direction and beeline it for the exit. i can't remember exactly, but i think addie claps for us.

bring on sweden, man. yesterday.