WANTED: a mary poppins-type someone to come finish my laundry (started 3 days ago and still on my couch), do the dishes, wash bathrooms daily, decide on this month's menu, grocery shop for said menu, melt the snow in our backyard, clean the grime out of our kitchen floor grout, wash and vacuum our vehicles, paint the upstairs, build a deck, and replace our windows with energy-efficient numbers. two children will answer to "jane" and "michael" if absolutely necessary (and if fruit snacks bribes are involved).
QUALIFICATIONS: must be able to snap fingers.
WAGES: many stars on your crown in heaven.
INQUIRE WITHIN.
8 comments:
When you find her, let me know her price range...wouldn't that be soo nice.
can I have one too!?
I would like to offer myself for the position. A couple of things you should know about me before, however:
I never take kids on outings
I never give them treats
I don't sing songs or bring sweets.
I tend to always be cross or cruel
My remedies are always castor oil or gruel.
I would love the kids as money-making clients but certainly not as a son and daughter
I often happen to smell of barley water.
I can also anticipate your response to the rest of the commentators:
The position has been filled.
wow, edgar. your credentials leave me quite astounded. i'd be a fool to pass up this opportunity, however, i am forced to nullify your application due to your oversight of responding to my one critical qualification. thank you for your time, and good luck in your future endeavors.
next.
i MEANT "... ; however, ..." stupid semicolons.
SERIOUSLY. oh man. if i had one wish...
oh, and also, i know someone who has good deck plans. his name is tabs, and you can reach him at 1-800-tabsbuildsdecks.
Amen, sister! We could use one of those at our house as well!!! It's great to see you Brittney! Jaime sent me a link to your blog, and I've just spent the last few minutes skimming over your posts. You have a beautiful family! And congrats on your upcoming addition! I admire you for staying active with dancing and everything else you have going on. We moms definitely need time to ourselves once in a while, and it's always nice to feel like you're developing talents and staying active. Love it! Feel free to visit our blog when you get a chance: http://justinandbobbi.blogspot.com. Love, Bobbi & Justin (more old friends from BYU days)
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