Friday, September 25, 2009

i'm probably a bad person

because i see lots of grasshoppers lately. lots. they have become first-rate pests (what good are ya, seagulls? state bird, shmate shmird), and i try to squash them with the wheels of my bike or jogging stroller, whichever i happen to be manipulating at the time.

that's not all, though. today i saw one kind of struggling in the crack of a sidewalk and i should've swerved to kill it and put it out of its misery but i saw it too late and to backtrack and do that would've taken more energy than my aging body could muster at the moment, and i jogged glibly by.

yes, glibly.


so, there you have it. i guess i'm a bad person -- and probably an even greater degree of "bad person" than the simple grasshopper-hater i've described because i don't feel guilty. i feel free and, well, downright glib.

that's a funny word. and this is a funny post. but the really-not-funny sort of funny.

6 comments:

Mortons Love said...

I don't think you should be worried about not backtracking... but I am a little worried that you took a photo...

Brittney said...

hah! for clarification: photo compliments of google images.

what would you do if i seriously hunted the thing down for a photo op? ew.

Alison said...

We have crickets and ewwwww ..... gross! They are dead all over the place, I kicked one in the garage yesterday thinking it was dead - nope. Still struggling and I left it to die by the garage door - searching for a way out. hehe
Welcome to the "downright glib, grasshopper leavin', jogging stroller crushin', cricket kickin', why don't the birds eat these dang insects" club. :)

mindy said...

This is why I love you!

Marty Reeder said...

I did a little research (I wasn't doing anything anyway, heaven knows I don't teach), and discovered that that grasshopper that you killed was one of the foremost advocates of grasshopper population control, concerned that the overpopulation of grasshoppers would endanger the human species and throw our planet's ecosystem into disarray.

By "glibly" smashing it, you have empowered all of the conservative radio talk show grasshopper hosts and helped them push forward with their agenda of overwhelming all human institutions without regard for the consequences of the planet.

Great job.

And yes, I really did make a comment that long.

Kathy said...

ok - i TOT thought you took that pic - WHUT. so glad you didn't. . . although it's hilar image i have of you bending over the little dead grassy trying to take a pic of it. :)