fertilizer

yesterday at lunchtime i listened as my children and two of their friends started discussing, ever so seriously, stitches. it then sparked another somewhat related topic. the following conversation is among four children, ages 4-6:

"charlie had to get stitches because the vet had to take the fertilizer out."
"yeah. the fertilizer that makes babies."
"well, actually, it doesn't MAKE the babies, it just helps them grow."
"yeah, that's what MY dog had to have her stitches for--to take out the place that makes the babies grow."
"does your dog have fertilizer?"
"nope. she just has the place where the fertilizer goes."
"can you all PLEASE stop talking about this? it's grossing me out."
"so the fertilizer goes into the place that makes babies, and ZZZZZUPPP! a baby!"
"awww. baby puppies are soo cute!"
"we don't want a lot of puppies. actually, i do. but my dad and mom don't. so they had to take charlie's fertilizer out."
"yeah, my mom and dad didn't want zoey to GET a boy dog's fertilizer, so she had stitches, too."
"is she all better now?"
"yep. is charlie?"
"yup."
"what's for dessert?"

sweet. no more birds & bees. now it's a garden analogy. let this be a lesson to all you kids out there.